Motherfucking Snakes Every-Goddamn-Where

Needless to say, I am looking forward to the B-movie spirited, A-movie budgeted, snake infested, extravaganza that is Snakes on a Plane. If 40's were sold in Florida, I'd buy you all a Schlitz. This makes me realize how amazing Samuel L. Jackson is. If anyone else was starring in this movie, I wouldn't be remotely interested. If this is true, then, scientifically speaking, the opposite must be true as well. A bad movie, after the inclusion of SLJ would instantly become good. A good movie would become great and the greats would become legendary. I propose we remake all movies, good and bad, and replace the male lead with Jackson. I'll start a short list of titles and rewritten dialogue. Feel free to add your own.
--L

1) Titanic: "Bitch, you betta get the fuck of that table or move over or something cause this water is cold as hell and I ain't no hero."

2) The Godfather: "Ya goddamn right he'll be a masculine child. Just look at me. I am the alpha male."

3) Alien: Sam: "What country are you from?"
Alien: Hisses
Sam: "ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?"

4) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: "You point that goddamn wand at me one more time and it's going your eye. Do you understand me?"